Rob,
I don't know of any way to overlay a cursor onto an Active-X window.
I would recommend using a firewire camera instead of a web cam. Web cams are not designed for machine vision. The additional cost of the firewire camera will be saved many times over in the amount of work you have to do to get the web cam to do what you want.
If you insist on using a web cam, look into LabVIEW drivers for them. I know there are Quicktime drivers available as well as Irene He's drivers. Search the archives for web cam and you will find all sorts of possibilities.
Bruce
Bruce Ammons
Ammons Engineering