Forum etiquit

[Ben]

Fist a story and then I would like to hear your thoughts and preferences.

Many years ago I worked with a woman that told me a story...

She was visiting her aunt in Canada when she observed the aunt would always go through the paper in the morning. She asked why and her aunt said;

Aunt: I like to read about who quit smoking lately.

Woman: They print the names of those that quit smoking up here?

Aunt: "Yes, in the obituaries.

Now for your thoughts....

Many of us have nee around for a long time and we have seen contributors come and go. Some walk away from the forums for their own reasons. And as we say last year, some are here right up the last minute and then are called home by our maker.

So what is the appropriate way for us that are still around and suddenly realize "Hmmmm, that person has not posted lately and they have not even been to the web-site in a couple of months." ?

When Sir Dennis left us, I had his e-mail address and an e-mail to him bounced. A quick Google search returned his obituary. Not much questioning after that.

But I do not have everyone's email and Google is not returning an indication that the person I am questioning  now has departed. A PM has not been read and still no sign that they have returned to the site.

Do we just ignore them and let them fade into history unnoticed?

Is mentioning the absence polite and proper?

Quoting from the "King and I"...

"It is a puzzlement!"

Ben

[Darren]

I think it's fine to mention the absence, since many people besides yourself are probably curious and would like to know what happened (if anything happened).

Then again, I'm also the guy who responds to farewell emails at work and directly asks why people leave and where they're going. 🙂

[altenbach]

This seems difficult because the data is very sparse. Sometimes there is a temporary drop in activity (vacation, NI-week, etc.), so what should be the cutoff and who keeps track of all the regulars? Sometimes there is a change in Job or loss of job (with loss to software access). Sometimes there is a graduation and the studies are finished.

The best bet is if there are also coworkers from the same company that could notify the community.

I personally only know a few handful of participants and probably only converse outside the forum with less than a handful. Many times the forum name has no resemblance to the real name.

[Mathan]

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@Ben wrote:

Is mentioning the absence polite and proper?

Ben

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I double your thought Ben. As Altenbach indicated even though it was difficult to track people, at least somebody by some means if they get to know about the situation could post it here.

Mathan

[LV_Pro]

The problem is that for many of us we work in isolation (my company currently has one employee, me) and so there wouldn't be anyone in my circle that might think to let this community know if there had been a major life event. That being said I do have some that I am friends with outside of here (RayR for one) that I communicate with semi-regularly that would know and notify. I am surprised that the emails to Sir Dennis bounced, one of the issues in our modern society is that our internet presence may continue long after us, and it is actually very difficult for our loved ones to do anything about our various accounts unless they were given access or passwords, etc. I guess one of those envelopes "To be opened in the event of ..."

[JÞB]

I am of two minds about the correct etiquette. 

I would hate for someone to post my obit on Facebook (it might just get too many "Likes")

One thing I am sure of is that participation on the forums is voluntary.  So, although it is nice if a poster mentions that they chose to focus elsewhere (like some prepper I could name) I see no mandate to do so on the part of the party involved.

Some contributors just fall away with limited information forthcoming.  

That being said, I am aware of some motivation behind Ben's puzzlement.  I see no need to hash specifics in a general setting.  OTOH, if You Do see this and can see yourself in the general class of posters in absentia , drop a line will you?

[JÞB]

Now, I am going to ask something.

@op yes you Ben.

As I recall, and I did double check.  I had to PM you to get that information once upon a Time.

????

I never mentioned that information you provided publicly.  Someone else outted you by name on another more convenient board.

What would Ben do?

That could be a good guide for those posters that respect your experience.

[Ben]

Thank you for your thoughts.

I have  decided that for myself, if I can not find an obituary, I will not start false rumors.

I will just have to think of them as friends that have moved on.

God's speed to all of you when you decide to move on to other things or respond to our maker's call.

Take care,

Ben

[Ben]

At this point I would like to morph this thread slightly and throw out some subjects that seem to fall flat... do not expect a reply...

Shakespeare

Poetry

Musicals

War

Politics

...

Are there more?

Ben

[LV_Pro]

What do you mean subjects that "fall flat"?