topic Re: Programming Joke in BreakPoint

Programming Joke

Cory_K — Thu, 30 Jun 2011 17:56:42 GMT

I though everyone could use a joke to break up the day, so enjoy

A wife asks her husband, a computer programmer; "Could you please go to the store for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6!"

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, "Why the hell did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had eggs."

Re: Programming Joke

altenbach — Thu, 30 Jun 2011 18:32:07 GMT

Why would milk cartons have eggs in the first place? 😄

Re: Programming Joke

F._Schubert — Thu, 30 Jun 2011 19:17:20 GMT

I get 2 compiler errors with this instructions.

Felix

Re: Programming Joke

Cory_K — Thu, 30 Jun 2011 19:22:44 GMT

def GoToStore:

if eggs in store:

milkCartons = 6

else:

milkCartons = 1

return milkCartons

That should do the trick (sorry, should have used LabVIEW)

Re: Programming Joke

F._Schubert — Thu, 30 Jun 2011 19:50:42 GMT

My first version was also text based. First line was:

GOTO Store

Felix

Re: Programming Joke

EvenDeejay — Fri, 01 Jul 2011 07:32:07 GMT

There are only 10 kinds of people in this world: those who know binary and those who don’t.

Re: Programming Joke

Ben — Fri, 01 Jul 2011 11:48:04 GMT

When working second shift for DEC back in the 80's I called a customer who said;

"I am so gald you called! I have a tape* stuck in my disk drive and can't get it out."

Ben

* Tape an ancient form of backup media that ranged from paper with holes punched in it to a flexble substrate with ferous material coating the surfce in which magnetic domains recorded ones and zeros. Just thought I shoud add that for the younger readers.

Re: Programming Joke

Ben — Fri, 01 Jul 2011 11:59:59 GMT

@cory K wrote:

I though everyone could use a joke to break up the day, so enjoy

A wife asks her husband, a computer programmer; "Could you please go to the store for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6!"

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, "Why the hell did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had eggs."

This most excellent joke reminds me of some evolutionary grafetti we had in Pittsburgh. On a bridge abutment someone painted;

Free Larouch!

Kill Satan!

A latter modification turned it into;

To Do List

1) Free Larouch!

2) Kill Satan

3) Bring home eggs.

And then again there was the one liner from the early days of convieince stores that went;

"What do you mean you are out of milk, eggs, and cigarettes ?! What kind of gas station is this?"

One more comes to mind which is of the same form as the joke and comes from (I believe) one of the books of the Kings (maybe 2) where Jerusalem was under seige by the Serians (?) and they were out numbered 100 to 1. The Serian side of the story alludes to a plague or something similar but the King james translation reads (almost verbatem);

"And the next morning when they woke up, they were all dead."

Ben

Re: Programming Joke

Hornless.Rhino — Mon, 04 Jul 2011 03:19:38 GMT

@Ben wrote:

One more comes to mind which is of the same form as the joke and comes from (I believe) one of the books of the Kings (maybe 2) where

Ben

2 Kings 19:35 🙂

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+Kings+19%3A35&version=KJV

Re: Programming Joke

Ben — Tue, 05 Jul 2011 03:36:14 GMT

@Hornless.Rhino wrote:

@Ben wrote:

One more comes to mind which is of the same form as the joke and comes from (I believe) one of the books of the Kings (maybe 2) where

Ben

2 Kings 19:35 🙂

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+Kings+19%3A35&version=KJV

That's it!

Makes me giggle every time I read it.

Asyrians.

Ben

Re: Programming Joke

Grugh_Mike — Tue, 05 Jul 2011 07:30:19 GMT

Make a note of this one:

Teacher: Write a C program to prevent TITANIC from sinking..

Student: Declare the variable TITANIC as float…!

OMG !!!!

Re: Programming Joke

Yamaeda — Tue, 05 Jul 2011 11:05:29 GMT

Const float Titanic;

Re: Programming Joke

EvenDeejay — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 14:02:23 GMT

Re: Programming Joke

SChance — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 16:11:04 GMT

ahaha

Oh my goodness.

I love the joke and all your responses.

They made my morning! 😄

Re: Programming Joke

Grugh_Mike — Thu, 07 Jul 2011 07:59:26 GMT

Todays one:

A man is smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the air. His girlfriend becomes irritated with the smoke and says, “Can’t you see the warning on the cigarette pack? Smoking is hazardous to your health!” To which the man replies,

“I am a programmer. We don’t worry about warnings; we only worry about errors.”

Re: Programming Joke

JKaufman87 — Thu, 07 Jul 2011 15:01:39 GMT

So.freaking.true!

I love them!

I wish I knew some of my own. 😛

Instead, I will just creep this threat and remember them for later!

Re: Programming Joke

Grugh_Mike — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 09:49:38 GMT

This one's awesome:

Jesus and Satan have a discussion as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest, with God as the judge.

They sit themselves at their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight. Seconds before the end of the

competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over.

He asks Satan to show what he has come up with. Satan is visibly upset, and cries, "I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out."

"Very well, then," says God, "let us see if Jesus fared any better."

Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers. Satan is astonished.

He stutters, "B-b-but how? I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact. How did he do it?"

God smiled all-knowingly, "Jesus saves."

Re: Programming Joke

altenbach — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 15:32:57 GMT

I guess this one originated before the autorecovery feature. 😉

BTW, what is "...lines of code..."? 😮

Re: Programming Joke

Cory_K — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 17:14:58 GMT

@altenbach wrote:

I guess this one originated before the autorecovery feature. 😉

BTW, what is "...lines of code..."? 😮

I guess this one originated before LabVIEW back when prodigal programming contests were still done in Fortran

Re: Programming Joke

Grugh_Mike — Tue, 12 Jul 2011 08:56:18 GMT

Today's one:

A programmer and his wife are doing some shopping

Programmer's wife asks him to wait for her near a shop and watch their 10 paper bags.
She comes back in some time and sees her programmer husband is counting bags.
W: "What a hell are you doing?"
P: "Uhmm, am counting bags, you said 10, but there are just 9 of them"
W: "Are you sure?"

P: "Yeah, I counted them many times. See 0,1,2 .., 9. That's all, where the heck is the 10th?!?!"